Friday, August 24, 2001

Went to a awesome show last night. File 13 and headling......................saves the day. It was packed. But it was awesome. Loved it. love being around any muzic.I can't live with out it.Espeaciall being there, pounding on my chest. Beautiful. Realease of inner depths........
I've had such a busy weekend. Haven't had time to write in my journal. Not like anyone read's them anyway's.Staying with my mom is so diffrent. It's been 20 years with out her. Then one day it's like,bam, we're living together. I'm still planning to invest in a apartment. Such a hard struggle.But I can do it. I am to strong. No one can bring me down.(Except you God)

Tuesday, August 21, 2001

This mental stump I've fell into is a feeling in my heart............

Monday, August 20, 2001

Yeah! Just made it home from my date with (d). We have so much crazy fun together. We went to a great chinese resterant. She tried to eat at least. See..... To make a long story short. We were having a little to much fun and that night we ended up getting things. To better explain things she pierced her tongue and I invested in a tattoo. Yeah. We had alot of fun. Just acting silly making fun of people to make us feel better.Hah. We are so bad.
Good morning to myself. I had the longest weekend.Out of my house.Scary. I've never slept out of my own home before. Well? I am kiddin. I have. But not for ever.Luckly I have one thing to keep me going. ::Music:: I couldn't survive with out it. I probably could but it would super suck.Inspiring words that take me to my next step. I love it.After all I can't seem to trust the people around me.Music will never betray me. It just play's over and over.Never pressuring you to do anything.Only reminding you of your choices,along with the consequences.Beautiful experiances and inner thought's free from your soul. Like a release, of some sort.Especially music like the deftones that are so expresional. For some one to actually make you feel what they felt as they journey life is awesome.To cry with them and rage with them (to me) is a bond beyond any...

Thursday, August 16, 2001

Ahh........Woke up to a lazy thursday. So many struggles in the world. So much drama and mental stumps to overcome. Huh, Life is great. It only makes you stronger. So much easier too,when you have insperational words to guide you through..."This torture that my heart confides I left behind to die" (ea)

Wednesday, August 15, 2001

Gladly I did not make it to work today...........I had a bad day again(Fuel) ha.Last night was crazy. I couldn't sleep at all. I literally cried myself to sleep. So many probs.But hey. Every one has problems.So I am not going to play the sad violins for myself. The craziest thing though last night. Around 1:00 i was awakin by the strange sensation that I was drowning!!!!! I sat up in bed and came to my senses and realized, I couldn't breathe.I raised out of my bed in a hurry. Trying to catch my breathe. I didn't. I was breathing but I felt I wasn't. I tried to make it to the bathroom but I was so dizzy. Spining , spining spining."Stop it now" I yelled. Nothing.I figured I was in a very deep dream. But I wasn't. Some how I made it to the bathroom.(Then I was sick) It happened twice.Why? I guess it wasn't enough crying myself to sleep. So many grown watchers. Have the right to tell me and youngsters............Why do you guys act like this. Why are you so strange and demand attention. Why are you the person you are.Laugh!! What runs through my mind."I ,Trisha, am the product of your regrets." Broken homes. Broken homes. they have broken my internal home. Through out all this I am full of love.Why I was sick? Who knows.Not drunk. Not high. Lost. Today was alot better though. I didn't go to work.Spent the day with a good friend. Danni. We are so alike. Yet diffrent.We have so much fun together. We stayed at he house had some happy drinks and watched a movie. She too is in need of alot of attention.But as long as we are friends I will always love her......
'm in a hurry right now because I forgot to pick up my mom. Ahh!!!!

Tuesday, August 14, 2001

Well another strange weekend gone by. Luckly I have a good friend like Danni to go through this strange weekend with me. Alot going on in my mind. Not much action taken though.......

Sunday, August 12, 2001

Before I lay to dream............hum........probably not.
Since my first entry I have had several thought's. Although a very good human in my life say's I think to much about things.I find myself at this point in life full of love and emotion.Huhh.........Full of my own. A lot of love missed as a child. But many to agree with that thought. Along with being misunderstood. Lucky for me I have a special person in my life at this moment. New to my heart. But very well adjusted.Can't say I know them very well. Yet I feel very close.
Humm............ Very exited to have my train of thought's out of my mind. So that every one can join the ride. I've met a beautiful human. New to to my eye's. An angel in disguize (Did I spell that right) or maybe A friend indeed?